2010 has been a rather fruitful year to me. Or perhaps a very fruitful year to me. Though I complain, I rant, I cry, I scream bcos of the extremely tight scheldue i have for the entire year. I still miss it now. Maybe that's the reason why I don't want 2011 to come so fast. Looking back at all these photos, I can 'cry'. Haha

1. The dumbest and awesomest Chinese New Year I ever had. It's not about the angpaos or is it about the visitings. It's about how crazy and dumb my bro, my aunt and I were. We played mahjong and were room-ing till past midnight. And that night was kind of crazy as we drank hard liqour, then we catch a movie. Then at 4.30am in the morning, my bro and I were stuck outside the house bcos we forget to bring our house key!

2. Team gathering @nana's/westzone finals/pizza hut/losing to jurong in quarter finals/every training day. This 2010 team is an best team I ever had. Though I went through all the ups and downs, they are the one who kept my passion burning. Those team talks at nana's place, nana's birthday surprise and every single thing, be it big or small. It's just so memorable. Because with 14 crazy girls around, there's nothing call PEACE!

3. My belated 15th birthday surprise. As my birthday was during the exam period and it was also the day before mother's day, everyone was busy and I was stuck at home with all my books. I swear it's kind of torturing! However, 2 months later, my girls appeared at my gate with 4 vangard sheet and 2 nike sukan-choli. Man, I was damn surprise because a noob like me, can never sense that something is wrong. Thank you my ungirly-girls. Heehee. (L)

4. YOG season - WCV & YOG swimming. I remembered that from june to august, I was fully packed with work and WCV booth stuff. I was ranting to everyone. Because needing to be a host and setting up that place wasn't as simple. But well, we put through and it was indeed a very good experience. Like seeing all kinds of athletes around.

5. Sec 3 Camp (24-26 MAY). Though to all of you, this may seem like just another camp. But to me, I really learnt and experience alot during this camp. From the worst living condition I ever had to the scariest things that happen during the camp. For a kind of clean person like me, I can seldom tolerate dirtiness. And for a kind of timid person like me, I walked through the kampong kind of road alone with just the moonlight and nothing else! I'm proud of myself. Also, the supernatural things that happened during the camp did freak me out abit as well.

6. Vietnam Trip (5-9 June). Even though this trip is with the council and we didn't know some of them, it's still fun and did experience quite a bit there. Like getting scam -.-! It was also the first time that I'm visiting an orphanage and doing volunteery work there. There were lots of infants and toddlers who are abandoned by their parents bcos of the illness that they have. Some of them were just left at the gate of the orphange. Yanna, Janice, Jessie, Diane and I bought a total of 5kg of sweets! I don't know why we bought so many! haha, but seeing them smile with this little gift that we got for them, really make our heart melt.

7. RHD performance w/37 (6 August). The first big project I have with 37 was a blast. We put in all our effort and time to make this performance a success. I really did threw my face alittle by acting as some super bimbotic korean girl together with Reitian. We are call the By200!! Lol, afterall it's worthwhile. I did enjoy myself during the process of preparing for this performance as well as performing on stage. Heehee.

8. Bali trip (4-7 Nov). This is like one of the most boring trip I ever have. Lol. The beaches are not as nice as I thought. However the shopping there is shiok! haha, but afterall, there's still something to rmb. For example, trying out their new water game call the 'flying fish' (below). Loool.

9. U15 Malaysia trip (17-22 Nov). It was never an aim for me to enter the U15 team. I remembered that I hesitated joining this team as I was doubtful about myself. Like how am I going to juggle my school training, my schoolwork and being able to handle the stress being in this team. i took up the challenge. One year passed just like that. Though I wasn't very close to the team players AT FIRST. This trip is still damn awesome. I made new good friends and made really silly jokes as well. I also learnt how auntie can Amanda get. How sweet chicken can be, taking care of me and praying beside my bed AS THOUGH I'M DEAD! Heehee. Being in this team is my privilege, seriously.

10. SLC 2010 `Survivor edition (23-25 Nov). The Biggest event I have for this year! The planning and the process of gettng everything in place is a great challenge for me. I remembered coming back during the holidays tgt with 11 other ICs, planning this whole camp and coming out with new ideas. I was kind of stressed as I feel ill halfway and has to get everything done before I go to malaysia. Luckily I've got a super great leader with me who helped me in every part of it. I'm extremely thankful for that! but of course everyone of us did our part and made this whole camp a success. There were laughter and tears. Haha, I rmb how tired we were after the nightwalk which ended at 5.30am! And also getting scolded like shit after the campfire, which is damn bloody screwed. Talking to the whole council bcos CCAC is seperating. Those tiring days is really damn good. (Y). I'll miss CCAC for sure.

11. Taiwan trip (30 nov - 4dec). Another awesome trip I have with ussbbg. The days spent there were not enough man! especially the shopping time. It's the last trip tgt with nana, ramo, olivia and Nanette. Though it's not as fun as 2008 beijing trip, because of our awful tour guide. We still enjoy ourselves and I can never forget how I kena owned. And how Janice clean the dog poo in the bus! Haha, Oh and how we got thrash damn badly by that TAIPEI CHAMPION TEAM! mannnnn, i miss taiwannnnnnnnn.

That's all for 2010. There are many other memorable moments, like getting owned damn badly by a maths and enjoying my days in Bintan, where I can forget about the word 'LIFE'. Ok, I've gone through all my photos, it's time to welcome 2011. As usual, I would like to thank those lovers/haters who made my 2010 such a fruitful and meaningful one. Maybe I did change, it's part of growing up. I apologise and please forgive me if i've done anything wrong or what. LOL. Alright that's all.

2010 ends, 2011 begins ; Are you ready? I am.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

(long post flooded with words below. Once start reading, DON'T STOP)

Look at the date above/below, it's alraedy 2011! No more awesome 2010, 2009 or 2008. It's 2011, time to face the reality, time to see myself grow up. Honestly speaking, i don't quite like the fact that it's already 2011. I had so much fun in 2010, no matter it's school/team/family/friends. Everything is so memorable to me. But well, stop thinking back, face the fact that it's already 2011, to make 2011 a better year, it starts in the mind first right. Think positively. 2011 IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!!! -.- Ok this is kind of fake. Haha. It's only the first day and in 364 days, i'll tell you how's my year again. Heehee

Anyway, last night was a blast. Kind of crazy I guess. Met up with Olivia and Xiaofei at cck and headed down to town at 5pm. Walked around and had our dinner at Big O's, mannnn i'm feeling hungry now. I swear the food there is damn good and their cakes is the Must try there. Then, we headed to cine to have frolicks and to catch Little Fockers. Neoprint plan failed. Walked around, and Olivia headed to Marina with her parents leaving just xf and I. Walked around again looking out to see if there's anywhere we can hear people counting down. Headed to Scape and I don't know how, but somehow we ended up in kbox.

Wanted to leave at 2.45am but we just can't get tired. So we extended and sang all the way till 4am. While singing halfway through the song, I shouted "@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&" GUESS WHAT! THE VERY SMART ME, FORGET TO BRING MY HOUSE KEY! AND THAT VERY SMART HER, DON'T EVEN OWN A HOUSE KEY! So I was like FML-ing all the way. Left scape and it's kind of scary there with drunkard people everywhere and police around. Walked aimlessly and we miss the last NR3 because I was in need of the toilet. heehee. Thus, we were stranded and had nowhere to go. Then at around 5.30am we decided to take a cab back to cck as I was almost dead. BUT THE CABS ARE ALL CHANGING SHIFT! AND WE GOT SO MANY REJECTIONS BCOS MOST OF THEM ARE GOING TO THE EAST! DANGG~~ What a way to start a new year.

Hop into a cab and went back to cck. We then had our breakfast at 302 and headed home like a Zombie. Lesson learnt, umbrella is not the most important thing that have to be inside my bag. IT'S MY DAMN HOUSE KEY! hahaha

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Today's a brand new year, and of course there should be brand new resolution right.

1. Get serious with my work and to be a nerd. IT'S O LEVELS EVERYONE!!

2. Stop slacking around wasting my time instead of doing what's need to be done.

3. Train hard for the next 3-4-5 months and get a Nat champ back!!

4. Be a better daughter and stop going against my mother.

5. Lessen the time spend twitting/fb-ing and coming online. I need to get a life!

6. Stop complaing about being tired with training/studies. It's life!

7. STOP FALLING SICK SO EASILY!

8. Be a better Pamela

9. Treat myself better and stop 'killing' myself.

10. Lastly and MOST IMPORTANTLY, to find a way out. Courage is the word. (;

Alright, will post again later for the top most memorable day/event in 2010. Stay tune, meanwhile I'm gonna make myself own a diary. A tough year ahead, I need a 24/7 listening ear. Heehee.

Come back again later!

I like this picture, I dont know why. It's like there are so many things happening at the same time. Things that not everyone understands, problems where there's no resolution and you can only close one eye or 'swallow it'. I know I gotta get use to this but look, it's eaiser said than done.

Life's fair? I doubt so.

What a joyous day. Where all 8 cousins, 3 aunts, 1 uncle, 2 son-in-laws, 1 daughter-in-law and a pair of the founder of all of us, come together to take a family potrait. Woke up and headed to the studio called 'Picture me'. The ladies did the make up and the photoshoot started. It took so long and it's damn tiring. Imagine taking photos, changing clothes, for 5 hours! But, it's the process that matters right? So yeah, everything was good, laughter and smiles. It's like Chinese New Year man!

Headed to Chinatown with my Opera make up, as if i'm going for some getai there. Had our dinner and it's the best dinner I ever had. I swear the food is damn fantastic. Best that I've ever eaten. Gosh, I'm drooling already. (Sidetrack alittle) My aunt just came back from Taiwan and she didn't bring her singapore mobile phone here. So she borrowed a mobile phone from my grandma. Then she check out her contat list and was wondering why is there so many 'a' names in it. So she click 'a' and all the names is like ah hock, ah leong, ah lye, ah bing, ah huat, ah sim etc. All the Ah something kind. Goodness, we laughed like shit man seriously. I really wonder how my grandma search for the contact numbers.

Alright, shall show you guys my favourite 3 photos of the process.

Happy grandparents with abner

The first, second and third grandchildren

Lastly, the newest family member! AXEL!

That's all. I'll upload the rest of the photos in fb if i'm not lazy. Heehee. Jamie and Shaun are staying over for one night and one msg have to spoil EVERYTHING! MST - 10 to1230, Training 1 to 230 and match at 5.15pm. Sian anot you tell me! Grrrrr.. SPOILER!

I'm back from somewhere so nice, so beautiful. Somewhere which have all that I want - the sea, the sun, the waves, the stars. Weee~ I don't mind living there forever. Somewhere so beautiful. I felt as if I'm in heaven, no stress, no one can contact me, no homework (lol). Haha, for now I've gotta wake up and come back to reality. For goodness sake, I'm living in singapore. All singaporean students are having stress! And that's the fact! I don't want to come back to reality :(



Anyway, Merry christmas and may all your wishes come true. :)

I'll be away from life for ALITTLE while. Yeepee~

Will be back when the santa's ready.

Is it the liqour, the PMS or is it just me.

My brain is running wild, again.

I'm currently having my study-till-5am plan. But it's only 12mn and i'm slacking away. Heehee, Anyway, I was thinking that instead of taking wedding car during my wedding, i want to take

This!

Possible?

back to the BOOKS that smells like poo.

So what would you wish for this christmas?

I've got a never ending list actually. But most importantly, I hope my teeth would feel better and that I don't have to drink porridge everyday :(

Sometimes I thought, why live life so seriously? Stressing yourself out with studies, sports, friendship(sometimes), relationship etc. Trying to make every part of these perfect, or perhaps just trying your best in all these things, trying to please everyone but not yourself. In a way or another, I'm tired. I feel like changing. Live life differently, maybe counting each days as it goes instead of having a goal each day.

All these times, I've been living the life of what everyone wish to have instead of living the life that I want it to be. Ok, maybe you guys don't get it. Bcos it's just so hard to put it into words.

Sooo.. two nights ago, i was digging through my 2008 photos and I laughed at myself for like 2 hours? Haha, soo much memory and stuff. A part of my life, at that time, was almost perfect I guess. yada yada, I know I've been talking alot about 2008 recently and they would end up saying " yala, you and your 2008" haha. Bcos it's the 8 year, which makes 8 so nice. Heehee..

Anyway, I met up with faith today to do some catching up and also for her birthday treat. I was late for 30 mins, and she was late for 40 mins. Haha. Ok, counted as my fault actually. lol. So we went astons for lunch, 313 to get her sis's christmas gift, Timah for ice-cream and back home. We talked like for 5 hours straight?! Neeways, it's nice la, like once in a while kind of thing. Too bad no photos for today. But I have a photo taken in 2008! hahaha, don't kill me.

Not too bad what, right?

You just gotta admit that this photo is good. Haha.

Neeways, my life is back to normal. Sleeping late, waking up late. Use the Net whole day. But oh wells, This time round, I'm flooded with homework. I'm not going to complain, because I know what I want to get next year. Heehee. Balling these few days were good, shiok. It's been so long since I go streetballing. But it seems like I've alot to catch up on as I felt that I've deproved. Hmmm.. so balling for the pass two days, balling again later and training for the next two days. My passion is burning dude!

I had 2 really funny dreams last night. Ok first, I dreamt that I drove a car and was caught by a police, and I lied to the police (Idk what la). Then I was sentence to JAIL for 18 months. And I cried, like seriously. I woke up in the middle of the night with lotsa tears in my eyes and at that time I still thought that everything was REAL! So I kept crying till I fell asleep. LOL. Ok next, I dreamt that school starts at 1.30pm and I'm late for school. Lame I know.

Guess that's all. I want to post about my malaysia trip, SLC 2010 and taiwan trip! BUT I HAVE NO MOOD LA. Tsk.

SLC 2010 `survivor edition
U15 MALAYSIA TRIP!!

BALI TRIP

I'm Back and I'm not travelling anymore! I'm happy I guess? It's so tiring! November is sucha fruitful month, so much happenings. Just got home from taiwan last night and I slept for 16 solid hours. I swear i've never slept for this long man. The longest was 13 hours I think? Oh wellsssss, I've got no mood to bog nowww. Photos will be up on fb soon!

Trust life a little. I'm trying.

It ain't normal, it ain't recovering. Because I know that I've had enough, I can't swallow anymore, and I'm nearing my limit. It felt as if there's nothing positive about life, seriously. I spent my day, trying to convince myself. It's not working at all.

No one understands and that no one would.

A fucked up life,
A fucked up background,
Everything is just so fucked up.

All you care is about my status. You always claim that you love me, claim that you care for me. But have you ever wondered how long have I swallowed all the sorrow. Look, It's been 3-4 years, why can't you bloody understand the fucking situation I'm in. When can you put yourself in my shoes. When can you understand how I feel when you said all these shits.

I'm sorry, I gotta ignore and leave you. I'm sick and tired of all your nonsense.

I'M BACK FROM CAMP! AND I'M SAD/HAPPY. WILL POST ABOUT MALAYSIA AND CAMP SOON. AND I'LL BE FLYING TO TAIWAN IN 5 DAYS TIME!

It's been so long since I touched this site. I've got soo many things to update about. But I didn't really have the time to do it. It's like I'm really super packed. I've got extra curriculum from 1 nov - 16 nov. Then, I went malaysia from 17 nov - 21 nov. And I'll be having my SLC from 22 nov - 24 nov, 27 nov - 28 nov 3on3 and 30nov-4dec is taiwan trip. You tell me tired anot!

And I've decided to post about the trips etc. But I'm gonna post it after my camp. Basically, I went Bali from 4 nov - 7 nov. It's kind of boring I can say, bcos I went with my parents and my brother. Which is not that fun afterall. I believe if my cousins or friends come along, we wouldn;t be spending hours staying in the room watching disney channel. lol. The things there were pretty expensive and it's flooded with angmoh. And I didn't have the chance to beach, since none of my family members likes the sun. So beaching was out, but I swear that the angmoh babes are hotter than the hunks. Haha, my inspiration. ok, whatever.

Anyway, Malaysia trip was Awesome. though the living condition totally freak me out. Because it suck to the core. I'll update more with photos after my camp.

Please pray for me that everything will go smoothly for the camp. My body is too weak now to take any hiccups. Lol, don't make sense.

Ahhh, i'm sooo tired but I'm gonna survive. Been busy with all the SLC stuff. From dance practise, to meetings and doing proposals till midnight. However, if everything go smoothly during the camp, it's gonna be a very memorable moment. Though i complain about the process of making the camp possible, I enjoy it. Because I know at the end, I'll still miss the busy moments.

Oh well, I'm leaving for malaysia tmr till sunday. And I've got SLC from monday to wednesday. I really really hope that I can survive. Give me some strength. Neeways, we lost to SCGS today. For today play, I'm speechless.

Alright, i'm really tired and my eyes are closing. Will update again after I'm not so busy. Ohya, I received my holiday asignment and I almost "fainted". Full of cheeenaaaa manxzxs. My fav-ou-lert subject.

I HATE HATE HATE GETTING SICK.

especially in this busy month. Zzz..

So many things, so little time.

I need a breather.

you feel me?

SERIOUSLY, JUST FML MAN.

Fml, I bloody touch a lizard with my bare hands when I'm walking down the stairs in the dark. I'm gonna get night mare tonight

Fml, my tutor scolded me like shit bcos of my A maths paper and when I redo the paper, I realise that it's not that hard afterall. Just fml

Fml, my am I always used as my mother's messenger just bcos she's afraid of telling stuff to anyone of my family members and making use of me.

Fml, why am I given this kind of life, where I'm given this difficult situation which I have to control it so that no one gets hurt. But at the end of the day, the one getting tired and all sort of insane stuff is actually me.

I'm in a fucking difficult position now and I'm absolutely unhappy about it. I just hate it in all sorts of ways. You're someone who loves me, who watches me grow up but at the end causing the most misery to me unknowingly. fuck that, why am I always facing this kind of problems and it's always me! I try to be cool about it, I lie to myself that I'm ok with it. But the fact is that it's never ok.

F.M.L