Because one thing leads to another.

As time goes,

I get more linkage between all the shit that's happening.

And I'm absolutely not looking forward to getting more.

The first link started out 7 years ago.

Idk what's happening to me.

For now, I just wish to be alone.

Today is sunday, and my weekends are ending again. But well, I'm not as unhappy and depressed as last week anymore. I felt much better after that Impromptu plan to go town with my mum and Bro at 8pm last night.

I don't know if it's the shopping or what. I'm not that negative towards my mum anymore. Because afterall she meant well and besides being alittle evil and pressurising me, she's actually rather thoughtful. Like she knows that I needa shop badly, so she brought me out. And if I look into every little small things she did for me, something as simple as waking me up in the morning and buying my favourite goodies. I believe my life wouldn't be this smooth without her. Gosh, why do I sound so cheesy. Must be that flu medicine, plus alittle bit of love, that my mum gave me just now.

And, I realise that life isn't that stressful afterall. I'm only 16 this year and I'm gonna experience more things and get more stress in the future. So whatever I'm experiencing now are just peanuts. Relax, take it easy and I'll fall in love with the books again.

Alright, have a great week ahead.

It's only the 3rd week of 2011 and I'm dying. Getting so worn out every week, feeling that 2 days of weekends are seriously not enough. NOT ENOUGH. My character is changing and I can feel it. It's like I'm gonna get a minor depression anytime man. Everything is not right. nonono. Being pressurized by my damn parents, getting all tired after matches and training and yet have to force myself to stay awake. Suck big time. I know I must get use to this and I will.

I hate it that I'm changing. I'm becoming short-tempered, becoming a bitch who don't care about how others feel and I'm like.. hmm, just changing. I dont know what's gotten into me seriously.

Just felt like blogging suddenly. Ok, so what should I say today. Hmm.. season's starting soon. This thurs vs Dunearn. And I think that terrible pain I got from my knee for the pass few days was due to the rain. Because it didn't rain today and my knee is perfectly fine. Ohdear, I'm becoming and old lady. Loool. I finished two cheena essay and one cheena compre today which is not alot actually. What a slacker i know.

You know the other day, I dreamt that I become damn bloody fat. Like I've got double chin, my tumy is worst than a pregant lady, and everything's just so fat. Then I was in those sibei CMI outfit, like I wore a hot pink tie? Haha. And I know I need to go shopping soon. So bored of all the smelly books, and getting myself stuck with the comp whole day. Kill me pls. I hope my internet crash. kidddd.

Ok, that's all. I think I need more than 24 hours everyday SERIOUSLY. Zzz.

There have been sooo many things running through my mind all the time. YES, ALL THE TIME. School, life getting worst as days goes by. I'm only at part 0.001 of my Studying for o level plan. I can't focus, I just can't. I need a focus lens. Loool, maybe I should convert myself to become hallejuyah, so that I can feel that there's still god that I can trust right. Loool.

And, I hate injuries. I HATE HATE HATE INJURIES! This is getting frigging annoying. Why must I get injuries everywhere before my season. Do you know how much/how long I've been training up for this season!? Being a failure last year is enough. I've been dying to get back into competition for a really long time. And now what, eveything is failing on me. How fucked up is this.

*ignore my previous post* that only applies to weekdays. Whatever it is, I just needa rant. JUST DIE. -.-

Ohmann, I wanna be like Jessie Foo. STAY OUT OF THE INTERNET!! I'm wasting so much time in the net and my friends around me are like finishing their assignment when I'm still like what? Facebooking? No way man, there's no facebook as a subject. Zzz..

Ok, I'm not gonna use the internet, or use my lappy for as long as I can! Deal. Anyway, WHAT SO NICE ABOUT BEING IN THE INTERNET HUH HUH HUH HUH!! I'm Flunking everything already man! Gotta realy buck up! I scored 27/100 for my cheena test. heeehee.

Ok, godbye for now. ill be back in 9 months time.

This is freaking maddd. I've been eating and eating and eating. After I eat, I'll eat again. And where all my money go to? Food. Like seriously man, I'll bring like lotsa biscuit and bread to school. I'll eat during lesson, during recess, during lunch break. After aep, I eat again. Then after dinner, i'll snack here snack there, eat here eat there. EVERYDAY. Tell me what's happening now! One day.. JUST ONE DAY.. You'll not recognise me anymore.. Muahaha.

Ok, crap. Season's starting in one weeks' time and I'm still aching here and there. My shoulder, my back, my knee. Mannn, i needa be in my best condition for this year! Argh, this is soo irritating. And ya, I think i sort of lost interest in studying for testss. Because I'll frigging flunk my chinese paper with red ink all over and my history, WORST.

Oh well it's ok. Just call me smarty from today onwards. maybe it'll motivate me to study hard. Hmmm..

My aim for o's : L1r5 10.5. (gotta start small so that I can incraese the number over the year)

I seriously seriously seriously seriously seriously seriously need to be more more more more more more more discipline discipline !!! I'm lagging behind. Wanna know what I owe? 7 chinese essays, 3 chinese paper two, 2 history essay. Woohoo~ that's excluding the daily assignment that i'm given. And what have i been doing? twitter~facebook~messenger~. HAHA, SERIOUSLY AHH. PAM OH PAM! GET YOUR HEAD DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN !! I CAN'T GET DISTRACTED BY EVERY LITTLE STUFF. NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

Neewaysss, my shoulder, my back my leg, my... is all dying on me nowwww NOW NOW!!! Pam oh Pam, pls don't screw 2011.

Call me smarty from today onwards. That will drive me to study.

: One day, I'll live life happier. Confirm.

I'm back to @pameelaas. Feels better here.

I think i'm abandoning blogger. I THINK ONLY. See how much can I love my new site. Meanwhile, pamelaas will still be here in case you guys miss me. Lol. Ciaoz, will be back if I felt like it. Bcos I'm still a noob.

2010 has been a rather fruitful year to me. Or perhaps a very fruitful year to me. Though I complain, I rant, I cry, I scream bcos of the extremely tight scheldue i have for the entire year. I still miss it now. Maybe that's the reason why I don't want 2011 to come so fast. Looking back at all these photos, I can 'cry'. Haha

1. The dumbest and awesomest Chinese New Year I ever had. It's not about the angpaos or is it about the visitings. It's about how crazy and dumb my bro, my aunt and I were. We played mahjong and were room-ing till past midnight. And that night was kind of crazy as we drank hard liqour, then we catch a movie. Then at 4.30am in the morning, my bro and I were stuck outside the house bcos we forget to bring our house key!

2. Team gathering @nana's/westzone finals/pizza hut/losing to jurong in quarter finals/every training day. This 2010 team is an best team I ever had. Though I went through all the ups and downs, they are the one who kept my passion burning. Those team talks at nana's place, nana's birthday surprise and every single thing, be it big or small. It's just so memorable. Because with 14 crazy girls around, there's nothing call PEACE!

3. My belated 15th birthday surprise. As my birthday was during the exam period and it was also the day before mother's day, everyone was busy and I was stuck at home with all my books. I swear it's kind of torturing! However, 2 months later, my girls appeared at my gate with 4 vangard sheet and 2 nike sukan-choli. Man, I was damn surprise because a noob like me, can never sense that something is wrong. Thank you my ungirly-girls. Heehee. (L)

4. YOG season - WCV & YOG swimming. I remembered that from june to august, I was fully packed with work and WCV booth stuff. I was ranting to everyone. Because needing to be a host and setting up that place wasn't as simple. But well, we put through and it was indeed a very good experience. Like seeing all kinds of athletes around.

5. Sec 3 Camp (24-26 MAY). Though to all of you, this may seem like just another camp. But to me, I really learnt and experience alot during this camp. From the worst living condition I ever had to the scariest things that happen during the camp. For a kind of clean person like me, I can seldom tolerate dirtiness. And for a kind of timid person like me, I walked through the kampong kind of road alone with just the moonlight and nothing else! I'm proud of myself. Also, the supernatural things that happened during the camp did freak me out abit as well.

6. Vietnam Trip (5-9 June). Even though this trip is with the council and we didn't know some of them, it's still fun and did experience quite a bit there. Like getting scam -.-! It was also the first time that I'm visiting an orphanage and doing volunteery work there. There were lots of infants and toddlers who are abandoned by their parents bcos of the illness that they have. Some of them were just left at the gate of the orphange. Yanna, Janice, Jessie, Diane and I bought a total of 5kg of sweets! I don't know why we bought so many! haha, but seeing them smile with this little gift that we got for them, really make our heart melt.

7. RHD performance w/37 (6 August). The first big project I have with 37 was a blast. We put in all our effort and time to make this performance a success. I really did threw my face alittle by acting as some super bimbotic korean girl together with Reitian. We are call the By200!! Lol, afterall it's worthwhile. I did enjoy myself during the process of preparing for this performance as well as performing on stage. Heehee.

8. Bali trip (4-7 Nov). This is like one of the most boring trip I ever have. Lol. The beaches are not as nice as I thought. However the shopping there is shiok! haha, but afterall, there's still something to rmb. For example, trying out their new water game call the 'flying fish' (below). Loool.

9. U15 Malaysia trip (17-22 Nov). It was never an aim for me to enter the U15 team. I remembered that I hesitated joining this team as I was doubtful about myself. Like how am I going to juggle my school training, my schoolwork and being able to handle the stress being in this team. i took up the challenge. One year passed just like that. Though I wasn't very close to the team players AT FIRST. This trip is still damn awesome. I made new good friends and made really silly jokes as well. I also learnt how auntie can Amanda get. How sweet chicken can be, taking care of me and praying beside my bed AS THOUGH I'M DEAD! Heehee. Being in this team is my privilege, seriously.

10. SLC 2010 `Survivor edition (23-25 Nov). The Biggest event I have for this year! The planning and the process of gettng everything in place is a great challenge for me. I remembered coming back during the holidays tgt with 11 other ICs, planning this whole camp and coming out with new ideas. I was kind of stressed as I feel ill halfway and has to get everything done before I go to malaysia. Luckily I've got a super great leader with me who helped me in every part of it. I'm extremely thankful for that! but of course everyone of us did our part and made this whole camp a success. There were laughter and tears. Haha, I rmb how tired we were after the nightwalk which ended at 5.30am! And also getting scolded like shit after the campfire, which is damn bloody screwed. Talking to the whole council bcos CCAC is seperating. Those tiring days is really damn good. (Y). I'll miss CCAC for sure.

11. Taiwan trip (30 nov - 4dec). Another awesome trip I have with ussbbg. The days spent there were not enough man! especially the shopping time. It's the last trip tgt with nana, ramo, olivia and Nanette. Though it's not as fun as 2008 beijing trip, because of our awful tour guide. We still enjoy ourselves and I can never forget how I kena owned. And how Janice clean the dog poo in the bus! Haha, Oh and how we got thrash damn badly by that TAIPEI CHAMPION TEAM! mannnnn, i miss taiwannnnnnnnn.

That's all for 2010. There are many other memorable moments, like getting owned damn badly by a maths and enjoying my days in Bintan, where I can forget about the word 'LIFE'. Ok, I've gone through all my photos, it's time to welcome 2011. As usual, I would like to thank those lovers/haters who made my 2010 such a fruitful and meaningful one. Maybe I did change, it's part of growing up. I apologise and please forgive me if i've done anything wrong or what. LOL. Alright that's all.

2010 ends, 2011 begins ; Are you ready? I am.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

(long post flooded with words below. Once start reading, DON'T STOP)

Look at the date above/below, it's alraedy 2011! No more awesome 2010, 2009 or 2008. It's 2011, time to face the reality, time to see myself grow up. Honestly speaking, i don't quite like the fact that it's already 2011. I had so much fun in 2010, no matter it's school/team/family/friends. Everything is so memorable to me. But well, stop thinking back, face the fact that it's already 2011, to make 2011 a better year, it starts in the mind first right. Think positively. 2011 IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!!! -.- Ok this is kind of fake. Haha. It's only the first day and in 364 days, i'll tell you how's my year again. Heehee

Anyway, last night was a blast. Kind of crazy I guess. Met up with Olivia and Xiaofei at cck and headed down to town at 5pm. Walked around and had our dinner at Big O's, mannnn i'm feeling hungry now. I swear the food there is damn good and their cakes is the Must try there. Then, we headed to cine to have frolicks and to catch Little Fockers. Neoprint plan failed. Walked around, and Olivia headed to Marina with her parents leaving just xf and I. Walked around again looking out to see if there's anywhere we can hear people counting down. Headed to Scape and I don't know how, but somehow we ended up in kbox.

Wanted to leave at 2.45am but we just can't get tired. So we extended and sang all the way till 4am. While singing halfway through the song, I shouted "@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&" GUESS WHAT! THE VERY SMART ME, FORGET TO BRING MY HOUSE KEY! AND THAT VERY SMART HER, DON'T EVEN OWN A HOUSE KEY! So I was like FML-ing all the way. Left scape and it's kind of scary there with drunkard people everywhere and police around. Walked aimlessly and we miss the last NR3 because I was in need of the toilet. heehee. Thus, we were stranded and had nowhere to go. Then at around 5.30am we decided to take a cab back to cck as I was almost dead. BUT THE CABS ARE ALL CHANGING SHIFT! AND WE GOT SO MANY REJECTIONS BCOS MOST OF THEM ARE GOING TO THE EAST! DANGG~~ What a way to start a new year.

Hop into a cab and went back to cck. We then had our breakfast at 302 and headed home like a Zombie. Lesson learnt, umbrella is not the most important thing that have to be inside my bag. IT'S MY DAMN HOUSE KEY! hahaha

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Today's a brand new year, and of course there should be brand new resolution right.

1. Get serious with my work and to be a nerd. IT'S O LEVELS EVERYONE!!

2. Stop slacking around wasting my time instead of doing what's need to be done.

3. Train hard for the next 3-4-5 months and get a Nat champ back!!

4. Be a better daughter and stop going against my mother.

5. Lessen the time spend twitting/fb-ing and coming online. I need to get a life!

6. Stop complaing about being tired with training/studies. It's life!

7. STOP FALLING SICK SO EASILY!

8. Be a better Pamela

9. Treat myself better and stop 'killing' myself.

10. Lastly and MOST IMPORTANTLY, to find a way out. Courage is the word. (;

Alright, will post again later for the top most memorable day/event in 2010. Stay tune, meanwhile I'm gonna make myself own a diary. A tough year ahead, I need a 24/7 listening ear. Heehee.

Come back again later!